When a married woman is hanging out with a female friend, many husbands never question it. Certainly much easier than trying to spend time with another man. It can also be easy for a married woman to tell her husband about the time she is spending with another woman. Of course, ultimately, affairs between a lesbian and a married women happen because there is something wrong with the wife's marriage. These women are not necessarily repressed lesbians as much as they are expanding their sexual preferences based on a deep emotional connection. And that sometimes, when a woman forms a very strong emotional bond to another woman, sexual attraction can follow. She has concluded from her years of research that women are more open and more fluid in how they connect to other individuals than we generally think. Lisa Diamond of University of Utah does research on human sexuality and has spent a lot of time looking at why women become attracted to other women. They aren't defining themselves as lesbians but have discovered they'd rather be with each other than with their husbands.ĭr. Once in a while I hear from two married women who are having an affair with each other and aren't sure what to do. Or you're a lesbian who finds heterosexual women sexy and likes to flirt with straight, married women because it's a great way to feel powerful, seductive, and connected to someone who isn't really available. Perhaps you are a lesbian who prefers more feminine women and finds it hard to meet femme or lipstick lesbians. On the other hand, the problem may stem from you. Or maybe she just got drunk one night and decided a lesbian encounter would be a great experience and a story to tell her friends. Maybe she got married for all the wrong reasons and is looking for answers. Maybe he's not paying attention to her and she's lonely. Maybe she's not attracted to her husband anymore and is wondering if she's a lesbian. She's unhappy in her relationship with a man and she's trying to figure out how to feel better about life.Įven though she's been questioning her sexual preferences for a while, she may believe she has to stay married. Who is responsible for this messy situation? She and her husband have a life and probably a house and kids and bills and extended family. Don't expect it to be easy or for the wife to depart her marriage without a lot of hesitating, questioning, and false promises. It's surprisingly common - but that doesn't mean it'll end well.ĭo lesbians fall for women who are married to men? All the time! And if that's you, be prepared for things to get hard. Especially when someone shows up and starts paying attention to a woman who is lonely and desperately wants someone to really see her and appreciate her. When a relationship goes into the doldrums and distance starts to grow between a couple, an affair always becomes a possibility.
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